Blog 10: Write Yourself into the Future Parts I and II

Homecoming When I answered that phone call that morning to say it was unexpected news would be an understatement, after I concluded the phone call, I had no idea how it would change my view on the world I lived in now, and my reevaluation of my life and my responsibilities on a macro level. I had just been informed by my grandmother’s executive lawyers that I had inherited our family ranch in Belize, as I mentioned above her death which occurred a month ago was expected, and due to my occupational obligations, I could not attend the funeral. I made my peace with that decision and moved on grudgingly, so receiving the phone call on my unexpected gift was exciting. Our ranch in Belize was a place that held fond memories of my childhood it was a place where I learned to ride horses, learned about the environment, and appreciating the rainforest and the gifts it provided. The beauty of the tropics to include our Orchid house, and various flower beds that had plants like Hibiscus, Heliconia, and Anthuriums. Most of all I loved the lush pastures and lawn that provided so much joy when I got on the tractor to cut the pastures or on the riding mower to cut the grass, the early mornings with the mist coming over the grand mahogany trees and the smell of the grass after it was cut mixed with the morning sticky dew was heavenly. I packed my bags put in my retirement closed all pending obligations and with those memories making me smile and shake with glee or returning to this wonderful time and place I purchased a one-way ticket to Belize. As I stepped out of the airplane on the tarmac in Belize it was all as I remembered the warm salty air of the Caribbean Sea, the sounds of the airport the smells all familiar like an old friends embrace I was home. I took a taxi to the bus terminal and purchase my ticket to San Ignacio all the way enjoying the stops along the way and the familiar views outside the window of the bus and the wind that carried the body odor of other passengers mixed with various foods brought aboard like tamales and fried plantain chips, I started recognizing familiar landmarks and that was my cue to gather my things and just like when I was a young man I yelled at the driver in my best creole I could remember “next stop pon di hill da me driver” and recognizing me he responded “ got yu bwoy” and trying my best maneuvering towards the front of the bus. Bracing myself and descending the stairs of the bus I waited as the bus moved along leaving a huge cloud of diesel exhaust that when dissipated revealed the long entrance road to our ranch, I WAS HOME!!!!! There it was before me my childhood home I walked up as quickly as I could with my bags the Dwarf Royal Palm trees, I had planted in my teens that lined our entrance road where now towering above me and hid the ranch house and landscape like a curtain in a theater and slowly revealed it’s secrets. I walked more quickly now making my way up the driveway, but suddenly I couldn’t move any further my brain could not translate what my eyes were observing it was gone this was a waste land. The lush lawn was now dried up and brown and rocky, the flower beds were cracked and overgrown with weeds, the pastures that I once enjoyed cutting on the tractor were gone the rainforest that surrounded our ranch and had majestic mahogany trees were all cut and depleted, the only image I could compare it to was when Simba returned to pride rock in the Lion King. The greed of my family members had destroyed my family ranch they didn’t see the beauty of the rainforest they saw it as an untapped source of income and so cut it down and this caused a domino effect that could not be stopped it led to our springs drying up which was the water source for the ranch. Cutting the trees which held the soil on the surrounding mountains now had washed all the soil away into the pastures below and now all that was left was a naked mountain landscape. I wanted so much to run away or wake up from this nightmare, but this is my reality greed and destruction has caused a great pain in my life. I am reminded of a saying what good is it for a man to gain great wealth but lose his soul, my family had lost their soul and stole my memories, and my happiness, I now wake up to silence in the morning where once it was the sound of parrots and toucans, and the sickening smoke of burning surrounding rainforest where it was sweet early morning dew. I am not sure if I can open my eyes and face this new reality I wish the person would stop shaking me to get up and leave me alone I finally open my eyes to my sniper buddy waking me up for my shift on the scope providing overwatch of the village, it was a dream thank God it was a dream and not my future reality.